It begins

It is almost like getting a pen licence once more. Except this time you don't want it.

I have started "Finish This Book" by Keri Smith.

I thought I could avoid destruction a little, but the book says I cannot advance until I complete the task I am presented with. The first pages I wrote in pencil.

I felt comfortable doing this, because it is easy to erase mistakes when using pencil. I use pencil for a lot of things due to this reason. Guess it is a metaphor for my whole life.

Then I turned the page and I was faced with this.

Oh the horror! The book saw right through me!

I left it for a couple of days. Thinking about that page made me feel sick inside. Such crisp, white pages that are so new and clean. What if I ruin it? What if I make a mistake? What if in the end of this task I feel so disgusted, I will not be able to live with myself? What if? What if?

It is something that had to be done. So I took home the pen I use at work. The pen I use everyday on other people's forms without much thought. The pen I shall use to write in my book.

Results? It was okay.

I'm still alive and well. And now I have a page that is unique. Something that is truly mine.

This is the first step. And it was one heck of an important one too!