I have been meaning to get more exercise in my life.
Ever since I got myself an office job and stopped partner dancing I have been easily putting on weight. Even though I am only 63kgs with a height of 169cms, I still feel like I could be more fit.
Problem is that most exercise routines are boring.
So I thought about what would motivate me. Firstly, I would like to get better at Starcraft 2. Secondly, I have a hula hoop I have hardly used.
My thought it that if I use hula hooping as punishment for every Starcraft 2 game I lose, then it will motivate me to get better and also have me hula hooping.
The routine below:
1. Play Starcraft 2.
2. Each game lost is 1 minute of hula hooping.
3. If losing games in a row, double amount of hula hooping each time (e.g., lost 2 games in a row, 4 minutes of hula hooping [1 + 1 = 2; 2x2 = 4]; lost 3 games in a row, 10 minutes of hula hooping [ 2 lost games = 4 mins; 4 + 1 = 5; 5 x 2 = 10].
4. Hula hoop non-stop until all time completed.
I was losing a lot of games recently so thought that I would get a lot of hula hooping done because of this. The moment I decided to do this I have been winning my games. I guess this is a win win situation.
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
Saturday, December 8, 2012
Tomato plant transfer 1
About 4 days ago I transferred my sprouting tomato seeds into their own little tub. I was a bit hesitant doing this because I was afraid that I would kill them all.
I didn't, as per below. A photo taken today.
They have started to grow their true leaves. Last year this is the point where I failed. I hardly got any true leaves and the plants just died. This time they seem quite strong.
It seems like I have no room to fail.
As I transferred one of the sprouts, the root completely snapped off. I thought there would be no hope for that sprout, however I still placed it in its own tub out of respect. After awhile it shrivelled up a little bit while the others kept upright. I was sure it was dead. I left it be and visited it the next day to mourn my loss. To my surprise it was no longer shrivelled, but completely upright. The little guy is not doing excellent and looks no different from the rest.
Even with no root, I was able to successfully transfer a sprout. This really boosts my confidence in gardening.
I made sure there was enough feed in their new placement too.
In each tub I added premium soil and soil for seeds and cuttings. In between the two different soils I added a tomato feed, so that when I created the holes to place the sprouts, the roots would have full access to the feed. I am unsure if doing that really helped with the survival or the fact that I have been watering them everyday.
When my other plants died last year I asked for some advice from a person I know. She told me that a wise person once told her that the key to the survival of a plant is:
1. Water it
2. Give it sunshine
At the time I though that it could not be that simple, but really, it is... who knew?
I didn't, as per below. A photo taken today.
They have started to grow their true leaves. Last year this is the point where I failed. I hardly got any true leaves and the plants just died. This time they seem quite strong.
It seems like I have no room to fail.
As I transferred one of the sprouts, the root completely snapped off. I thought there would be no hope for that sprout, however I still placed it in its own tub out of respect. After awhile it shrivelled up a little bit while the others kept upright. I was sure it was dead. I left it be and visited it the next day to mourn my loss. To my surprise it was no longer shrivelled, but completely upright. The little guy is not doing excellent and looks no different from the rest.
Even with no root, I was able to successfully transfer a sprout. This really boosts my confidence in gardening.
I made sure there was enough feed in their new placement too.
In each tub I added premium soil and soil for seeds and cuttings. In between the two different soils I added a tomato feed, so that when I created the holes to place the sprouts, the roots would have full access to the feed. I am unsure if doing that really helped with the survival or the fact that I have been watering them everyday.
When my other plants died last year I asked for some advice from a person I know. She told me that a wise person once told her that the key to the survival of a plant is:
1. Water it
2. Give it sunshine
At the time I though that it could not be that simple, but really, it is... who knew?
Sunday, December 2, 2012
Ending relationships
For my previous post, I had to look through folders of old photos. A lot of these photos featured my ex and I felt a bit awkward going through them.
I have six years worth of photos with my ex. That is a lot of photos. And it also shows signs of the relationship slowly fading, which made me think about it a bit.
It was not obvious back then, but now I can clearly see my disinterest in the photos. I was not happy.
In the first couple of years I can see happiness in the relationship. It was new, it was my first and I was glad I was in it. It was something I thought I needed at the time.
Then, things were not so new any more. We started living together. So many things irritated me about him, but I thought it was just my hormones. In photos I looked glum and even sometimes grumpy. This was during last three years of the relationship.
Why wasn't it obvious during those three years that the relationship just had to end? Why weren't the signs obvious?
Now I would think it would be obvious if I did it all again. But as a reminder, I have created the following list.
When you can be sure the relationship has to end:
Even though all of the above was true, I still kept at it. I knew I wanted out, but didn't know how to do it. I felt insecure about myself. I felt like no one else would want to be with me. I felt like we had gone through too many years to give it all up.
I felt responsible for his happiness. I did not want to crush him. I did not want to make him feel like I took away a lot of his time. I did not want the blame.
In hindsight, the quicker I would end it, the best it would have been for the both of us. Ending it allowed him to get on with his life, and it allowed me to see what I truly wanted. It was like being freed from a ball and chain.
Ending it allowed me to be free to find someone else. Someone who I never thought would enter my life. Someone who I am with now.
Hopefully the same will happen to him, if it hasn't already.
I have six years worth of photos with my ex. That is a lot of photos. And it also shows signs of the relationship slowly fading, which made me think about it a bit.
It was not obvious back then, but now I can clearly see my disinterest in the photos. I was not happy.
In the first couple of years I can see happiness in the relationship. It was new, it was my first and I was glad I was in it. It was something I thought I needed at the time.
Then, things were not so new any more. We started living together. So many things irritated me about him, but I thought it was just my hormones. In photos I looked glum and even sometimes grumpy. This was during last three years of the relationship.
Why wasn't it obvious during those three years that the relationship just had to end? Why weren't the signs obvious?
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| Image source here |
Now I would think it would be obvious if I did it all again. But as a reminder, I have created the following list.
When you can be sure the relationship has to end:
- You feel unhappy with your partner at all times.
- Your partner has a way of irritating you like no other person.
- You no longer feel physically or mentally attracted to them. In other words, you feel no attraction to them at all.
- You do not feel any joy seeing them after not seeing them for a period of time.
- You rather be somewhere else or with someone else when with your partner.
- You cannot imagine a happy future together.
- When you do not want to take any time or energy fixing the relationship because you feel like it is unfixable.
- When you are constantly thinking whether or not it should end. If you are thinking about it, there has to be a reason why.
- You cannot find any positives or qualities in your partner that are worth tolerating any negative.
- When you both do not want the same type of live.
 |
| Image source here |
Even though all of the above was true, I still kept at it. I knew I wanted out, but didn't know how to do it. I felt insecure about myself. I felt like no one else would want to be with me. I felt like we had gone through too many years to give it all up.
I felt responsible for his happiness. I did not want to crush him. I did not want to make him feel like I took away a lot of his time. I did not want the blame.
In hindsight, the quicker I would end it, the best it would have been for the both of us. Ending it allowed him to get on with his life, and it allowed me to see what I truly wanted. It was like being freed from a ball and chain.
Ending it allowed me to be free to find someone else. Someone who I never thought would enter my life. Someone who I am with now.
Hopefully the same will happen to him, if it hasn't already.
Saturday, December 1, 2012
Check out the bathroom
Ever since social media website became popular, I have noticed the different ways people display themselves.
I remember the days when everyone had the self shot from above. It somehow made people look slightly better than head on shots, so I can see why it was done. Below was the best example I could find from my own collection. Surprisingly, I personally do not have many of these kind of shots.
Then I noticed the self taken photo through a mirror shots. I never went through this phase because I never understood why people do it. Most cameras (and phones) have an option for timer shots. This is what I would use.
The first time I saw the mirror shots I thought people were showing off their cameras. I then realised that that was not the case. They were showing themselves off. As soon as I realised this I created the following photo and posted it on my page.
I remember the days when everyone had the self shot from above. It somehow made people look slightly better than head on shots, so I can see why it was done. Below was the best example I could find from my own collection. Surprisingly, I personally do not have many of these kind of shots.
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| Eighteen... so young... and naive |
Then I noticed the self taken photo through a mirror shots. I never went through this phase because I never understood why people do it. Most cameras (and phones) have an option for timer shots. This is what I would use.
The first time I saw the mirror shots I thought people were showing off their cameras. I then realised that that was not the case. They were showing themselves off. As soon as I realised this I created the following photo and posted it on my page.
 |
| Thanks for taking the photo Camera Dude! |
I had my camera show me off instead by taking the picture. This was only possible because I knew how to use the timer shot function of the camera.
Today, I still see the mirror shot photos. I often think about commenting on the photos complementing the bathroom tiles or the like, but not many people appreciate my sense of humour.
Personally I think bathrooms are an odd place to take a photo. Especially when it is your parent's bathroom, which is something I see a lot. Although you do occasionally find humorous ones on the Internet.
However, I find it even more funny when people are trying to be cool in the bathroom. They do this by showing off abs, holding an alcoholic beverage when they just turned the legal age, or even pouting like a fish. No matter how cool they try to look, it loses the effect because they are standing in a bathroom taking a photo of themselves.
I respect a bit of creativity. It would be cool if people tried to be a little more creative with their self shots.
One week on - Still alive
Last year I failed miserably at keeping plants alive. I had the idea that I could easily grow edibles from seed or seedling. My experiences showed me that my idea was false.
This year, I want to make that idea true. So I have started anew with a new batch of seeds/seedlings.
I am so determined to keep this bunch alive that I think I am getting paranoid. I have to check the plants at least twice a day. I keep checking if the soil is moist enough. I check every small section to make sure there are no bugs, slugs or other critters wanting to sabotage me. I think about the plants during most of the day at work. If I really think about it, my plants are now my number one thought every day. Unsure how healthy this is mentally, but it seems to be keeping them alive.
My tomato seeds have sprouted.
These little ones are a week old. They already look much healthier than the ones I had last year. Last year I had them indoors without much light so their stems grew way more than they could handle. These ones were outside at half shade with a plastic covering. So far, so good.
I removed the plastic covering yesterday and the little ones seem to be enjoying the sun. It won't be long until I will need to transfer them into separate containers. Hopefully that process won't be the death of them.
My basil seeds are also sprouting.
This year, I want to make that idea true. So I have started anew with a new batch of seeds/seedlings.
I am so determined to keep this bunch alive that I think I am getting paranoid. I have to check the plants at least twice a day. I keep checking if the soil is moist enough. I check every small section to make sure there are no bugs, slugs or other critters wanting to sabotage me. I think about the plants during most of the day at work. If I really think about it, my plants are now my number one thought every day. Unsure how healthy this is mentally, but it seems to be keeping them alive.
My tomato seeds have sprouted.
These little ones are a week old. They already look much healthier than the ones I had last year. Last year I had them indoors without much light so their stems grew way more than they could handle. These ones were outside at half shade with a plastic covering. So far, so good.
I removed the plastic covering yesterday and the little ones seem to be enjoying the sun. It won't be long until I will need to transfer them into separate containers. Hopefully that process won't be the death of them.
My basil seeds are also sprouting.
I honestly did not think anything would sprout from these seeds, mostly because I was unsure if the seeds were ready to be cultivated. Interesting enough, I have found more of these sprouts in my pot where I have my old parsley. Even though I did not plant any seeds in the pot, I am not surprised that the sprouts are there. I had a basil plant in the pot that died, but flowered in its last living months. I guess it left behind some seeds that are now activated from my watering and feeding. Maybe growing basil is not as hard as I thought it would be.
My basil cuttings are still not developing roots. It has only been a week, so it is still early days. If this time next week I still see nothing, then I will accept defeat.
One of the cuttings was losing some of its leaf. I later discovered a small green caterpillar munching on it. Unfortunately I had to execute it. Nothing messes with my plants!
Below are my garlic after a week of inserting them into the soil.
They are doing extremely well, considering they were left overs from the pantry.
My lettuce is pretty much the same. It has grow a little bit, but nothing too obvious. However I am glad that no snails have managed to munch on them. Sprinkling snail bait around the pots really does work wonders.
Both my chocolate mint and youngberry are doing great. They have both grown a little bit. I am considering transferring the youngberry to a hanging basket, because it seems like the kind of plant that would want to take over everything. It looks quite strong.
My old parsley seems quite sad. It has not grown at all and starting to brown. I think after a year of neglect it got stunted and seems irreversible. Might have to buy more seedlings. Lesson learned though. Do not neglect plants for a whole year. Noted.
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
Cleverbot
A few days ago I discovered CleverBot.
It is essentially a chat AI that stores all the answers people give it, and then uses those answers in the conversation. This means the answers may seem more human, but at the same time it can make no sense.
I find it more entertaining to chat with than A.L.I.C.E (Artificial Linguistic Internet Computer Entity). This is probably because it is impossible to predict what CleverBot will answer, because it takes it from several humans/sources.
Below is a comparison between CleverBot and A.L.I.C.E. I repeated the same question over and over.
As you can see, there is a clear difference. A.L.I.C.E has the same answer for the same question, which is quite unrealistic in a human to human conversation.
CleverBot almost seems to be sarcastic. Just like a human it questions and also reminds you that you have already received an answer to the question. This makes it more believable and entertaining to converse with.
I then wondered what a conversation between CleverBot and A.L.I.C.E would be like. I started by saying "Hello." to A.L.I.C.E on CleverBot's behalf. The rest were answers from the AIs. I did it 3 times with the same "Hello" "Hi there" start.
Results below:
Conversation 1.
Conversation 2.
Conversation 3.
My partner told me I need to take up a hobby. I said, "more?!?"
It is essentially a chat AI that stores all the answers people give it, and then uses those answers in the conversation. This means the answers may seem more human, but at the same time it can make no sense.
I find it more entertaining to chat with than A.L.I.C.E (Artificial Linguistic Internet Computer Entity). This is probably because it is impossible to predict what CleverBot will answer, because it takes it from several humans/sources.
Below is a comparison between CleverBot and A.L.I.C.E. I repeated the same question over and over.
Continuation...
 |
 Et cetera, et cetera... |
 |  |
Sunday, November 25, 2012
First step - Keeping plants alive
Ever since I was a kid, I always imagined myself having a fruit, herb and vege garden. However, I never thought I would be so bad at keeping plants alive.
Last year I thought it would be a great idea to grow tomatoes from seed. I was able to get passed germination and have two little leaves on each of the fragile stalks. Then I completely forgot to water and look after them.
This was the outcome:
Dirt. Completely dead plants.
Furthermore, at the same time my mother gave me 6 pots with different plants and herbs including rosemary, oregano, mint and lavendar.
Unfortunately this is what has become of them:
After nearly a year of them sitting in the pots, dead, I decided to pull them out so I could start afresh.
It wasn't all gloom. My basil and parsley plants are still alive, even after so much abandon.
This is year I am determined to keep plants alive and have them bloom.
My first step was to cut off all the flowers from the basil plant and snip off bits. From that I was able to collect some seeds and clippings. I am hoping I can grow more basil from both sources. Below are the clippings I have put some water. If all goes well, in 2 weeks I'll have roots.
In my pantry I also found some garlic that were sprouting like crazy. So I decided to put these in soil and see what happens. Hopefully I won't need to buy any more garlic in a few months.
Next I decided to buy a specific container that contains tomato seeds and special soil. It comes with instructions, so I am having a go at growing tomatoes from seed again, with some assistance. I bought liquid feed to help with growth, so hopefully this time something will come out of this.
I found myself on a role, so additionally I bought this dwarf lemon tree:
Below you will see my other plants. I bought chocolate mint (top left) and youngberry (top right).
Also in these pots is garlic, lettuce and parsley (the survivor).
I quite like the chocolate mint plant because it gives off a really nice aroma. If I manage to keep it alive I am planning on chopping it up and adding it to my home made chocolate. Hoping this is enough motivation for me to look after it.
I will document my progress in this blog. If I can keep these plants alive, anyone can!
I am quite determined to achieve this. My partner let me know that before I can have children I need to be able to pass 2 steps.
1. Keep plants alive and look after them.
2. Keep pets alive and look after them.
I am still on the plant stage, so hopefully I can pass this first step!
Last year I thought it would be a great idea to grow tomatoes from seed. I was able to get passed germination and have two little leaves on each of the fragile stalks. Then I completely forgot to water and look after them.
This was the outcome:
Dirt. Completely dead plants.
Furthermore, at the same time my mother gave me 6 pots with different plants and herbs including rosemary, oregano, mint and lavendar.
Unfortunately this is what has become of them:
After nearly a year of them sitting in the pots, dead, I decided to pull them out so I could start afresh.
It wasn't all gloom. My basil and parsley plants are still alive, even after so much abandon.
This is year I am determined to keep plants alive and have them bloom.
My first step was to cut off all the flowers from the basil plant and snip off bits. From that I was able to collect some seeds and clippings. I am hoping I can grow more basil from both sources. Below are the clippings I have put some water. If all goes well, in 2 weeks I'll have roots.
In my pantry I also found some garlic that were sprouting like crazy. So I decided to put these in soil and see what happens. Hopefully I won't need to buy any more garlic in a few months.
Next I decided to buy a specific container that contains tomato seeds and special soil. It comes with instructions, so I am having a go at growing tomatoes from seed again, with some assistance. I bought liquid feed to help with growth, so hopefully this time something will come out of this.
I found myself on a role, so additionally I bought this dwarf lemon tree:
I managed to re-pot it. Instructions for it let me know that it doesn't need much watering and it likes a lot of sun. Don't see how I will fail with this one.
I also bought different varieties of lettuce and planted them in the pots my other herbs died in. I added premium soil that retains water and has fertiliser in it, so hopefully these ones won't die.
Below you will see my other plants. I bought chocolate mint (top left) and youngberry (top right).
Also in these pots is garlic, lettuce and parsley (the survivor).
I quite like the chocolate mint plant because it gives off a really nice aroma. If I manage to keep it alive I am planning on chopping it up and adding it to my home made chocolate. Hoping this is enough motivation for me to look after it.
I will document my progress in this blog. If I can keep these plants alive, anyone can!
I am quite determined to achieve this. My partner let me know that before I can have children I need to be able to pass 2 steps.
1. Keep plants alive and look after them.
2. Keep pets alive and look after them.
I am still on the plant stage, so hopefully I can pass this first step!
Friday, November 23, 2012
Commuting - Thoughts about nice guys and sexual interest
On my drive to work, I was listening to the radio. The presenter mentioned that he gets along well with females because he is gay. The reason for this is because he shows no sexual interest towards them and therefore the female can be more relaxed around him.
I pondered this for awhile while stuck in traffic.
The following sequence popped up in my head:
The above is just an approximate of what popped up in mind.
I then started thinking about sexual interest and how demonstrating this can affect relationships between people.
Original image source here
Original image source here
Original image source here
Original image source here
The above is just an approximate of what popped up in mind.
I then started thinking about sexual interest and how demonstrating this can affect relationships between people.
Maybe girls generally do not go for nice guys, because they do not picture them in a sexual way. It becomes an association. Once you have no sexual thoughts about them, it is hard to look at them in that frame. Especially if the guy is not displaying sexual interest towards her. He might as well be like a gay friend.
I then thought about my own experiences. I remember a male friend I had. We spent a lot of time together, but just as friends. He was nice to me, but that was it. That is all I saw and nothing else. While with him, no sexual context would arrive, neither in conversation or in my mind. However, after some time I noticed that his behaviour changed a little bit. His conversations became more sexual. This made me feel a little uncomfortable because I had already associated him as a friend only. In my mind he was more like a brother to me than anything else. So logically the thought of sex was too gross to think about.
However, maybe in a different context, things could have been different. If he was sexual from the get go, clearly marking his intention, I would have seen him in a different light. It would have been impossible for me to think about him like a brother if he implanted the thought of having sex with him in my head from the get go.
So if a guy really wanted to be with a particular female, he could be both nice and show sexual intentions. It is possible to do both. However, I think maybe there's the whole conflict that he may think the girl will think he is only in it for sex. All I can say is, if you don't want to have sex with her, then don't show that you do. If you do want to have sex with her, then demonstrate it.
My partner and I started out purely as a sexual relationship. He demonstrated he would like to have sex with me, which made me feel attractive. In between sex he was nice to me. He gave me his time. He listened to me. He even cooked me dinner. While also demonstrating that he wanted sex. A year and 9 months later we are still together monogamously. And our relationship is pretty awesome.
Driving to work and back... so much time to ponder things.
Driving to work and back... so much time to ponder things.
Sunday, November 18, 2012
Disguise
Yesterday I watched the second part to the 1985 version of Alice in Wonderland. The whole movie was about Alice letting go of her fears. There were also a lot of characters that kept calling Alice stupid. She was first defensive about it, but by the end she just brushed it off, which was quite interesting.
Before watching the movie I read my next task in "Finish this Book". The task was to cut out a disguise and wear it. It meant I had to cut something out of the book. Scissors to book is not something I like to do. I often think I will miss the page as it was before the scissors destroyed it.
I then thought about the parallels between the movie and my task. I feared cutting a page in the book. Just like Alice, I had to overcome this fear before I could continue. Before I could get to my final destination.
So I did it. I completed the task. I cut it out, stuck it on my face and took a picture. Just like the book instructed me to. And I don't even miss the page. I think it looks better on my face. Don't you?
Before watching the movie I read my next task in "Finish this Book". The task was to cut out a disguise and wear it. It meant I had to cut something out of the book. Scissors to book is not something I like to do. I often think I will miss the page as it was before the scissors destroyed it.
I then thought about the parallels between the movie and my task. I feared cutting a page in the book. Just like Alice, I had to overcome this fear before I could continue. Before I could get to my final destination.
So I did it. I completed the task. I cut it out, stuck it on my face and took a picture. Just like the book instructed me to. And I don't even miss the page. I think it looks better on my face. Don't you?
Done it again
I am really determined to finish the projects I have started.
My biggest mistake has always been starting something new before finishing what I had already started. Then it all jumbles inside my head. I want to complete all of it at the same time, but that is not possible. Then, in conflict, I do nothing.
The same is happening. I have been determined to complete the blanket I have been crocheting. So instead of dedicating most of my free time in constructing it, I have instead bought 2 books that I want to finish also. At the same time. Not to mention the other projects that are not so far in the back of my mind.
There really was only one reason I was able to complete the cross stitched bookmark mentioned in my first post. I took it with me on holiday. Most of the holiday was to visit my family and my then partner's. I knew I would have a couple of weeks with his family with little or nothing to do. So I cross stitched. That was my only option. I completed it in 2 weeks without much issue.
At home there are many distractions. Firstly, I work full time. Then there are household duties and the fact that I really want to go through all my stuff and de-clutter. Not to mention video games too. Free time is not abundant.
So I have decided to organise my thoughts. I'll list what I want to do and dedicate time to it. If I am unable to focus on one thing, I'll pick 2 from the list and go from there.
My to do list:
1. Complete bassinet blanket.
2. Finish "Finish this Book".
3. Do tasks in "Wreck this Journal".
4. Complete "First year of relationship" scrapbook.
5. Put all videos and photos of ex's family in a USB stick and post it to him. Erase.
6. Go through drawers. Get rid of anything that I forgot about, no longer need or that is taking unnecessary space.
7. Get to Platinum in Star Craft 2.
8. Print selected photos from 2004 until present and put them in photo albums as a backup.
9. Watch all seasons of the new Dr Who series.
I am sure there are more if I continued a bit longer.
I have decided to focus on number 1 and 2 at this point. Number 9 can be done at the same time as number 1, so that is no issue. Once I cross things off, the list will be much smaller and easier to manage.
Wish me luck!
My biggest mistake has always been starting something new before finishing what I had already started. Then it all jumbles inside my head. I want to complete all of it at the same time, but that is not possible. Then, in conflict, I do nothing.
The same is happening. I have been determined to complete the blanket I have been crocheting. So instead of dedicating most of my free time in constructing it, I have instead bought 2 books that I want to finish also. At the same time. Not to mention the other projects that are not so far in the back of my mind.
There really was only one reason I was able to complete the cross stitched bookmark mentioned in my first post. I took it with me on holiday. Most of the holiday was to visit my family and my then partner's. I knew I would have a couple of weeks with his family with little or nothing to do. So I cross stitched. That was my only option. I completed it in 2 weeks without much issue.
At home there are many distractions. Firstly, I work full time. Then there are household duties and the fact that I really want to go through all my stuff and de-clutter. Not to mention video games too. Free time is not abundant.
So I have decided to organise my thoughts. I'll list what I want to do and dedicate time to it. If I am unable to focus on one thing, I'll pick 2 from the list and go from there.
 |
| In progress. Crochet bassinet blanket that I commenced in 2006. |
1. Complete bassinet blanket.
2. Finish "Finish this Book".
3. Do tasks in "Wreck this Journal".
4. Complete "First year of relationship" scrapbook.
5. Put all videos and photos of ex's family in a USB stick and post it to him. Erase.
6. Go through drawers. Get rid of anything that I forgot about, no longer need or that is taking unnecessary space.
7. Get to Platinum in Star Craft 2.
8. Print selected photos from 2004 until present and put them in photo albums as a backup.
9. Watch all seasons of the new Dr Who series.
I am sure there are more if I continued a bit longer.
I have decided to focus on number 1 and 2 at this point. Number 9 can be done at the same time as number 1, so that is no issue. Once I cross things off, the list will be much smaller and easier to manage.
Wish me luck!
Friday, November 16, 2012
Change
Above is an image of the 1985 movie "Alice in Wonderland". I just finished watching the first part after more than a decade since I last saw it. This movie was one of my favourites growing up, however, back then it was just pretty pictures.
Today, it is more than just pretty pictures. It is more about the context.
I had never noticed all the references to change before. Not only that, it references all the different emotions one will face during their lives. It isn't all about pretty things and happy faces. The real world is full or things, both great and nasty. All you have to learn is that that is reality. You can either cry about it or just laugh.
I am glad I have watched this again, and can't wait to watch the second part, as it has always been my favourite. This movie is quite relevant to all of this that I am doing. It is about change, accepting some things and giving things a go.
It links to everything. It even links to my previous post where I had to write in a book with pen. Why question why it needs to be clean and crisp? Why question what will come from it? Why? Why? Why?
Why? Such a childlike thing to ask. However, I don't think I asked it enough as a child. I didn't really have anyone to answer me. So there was no point. I guess that is why I ask it so much as an adult. I still think it is fine to ask why, especially in some subject areas. However, for things so trivial, it is time I ask, "why not?"
Why not draw all over a book and cut it up? If I can, I might as well. Could be a good thing, could be a bad thing. Who knows. Who cares. Just do it. Why must I question every single thing?
It begins
It is almost like getting a pen licence once more. Except this time you don't want it.
I have started "Finish This Book" by Keri Smith.
I thought I could avoid destruction a little, but the book says I cannot advance until I complete the task I am presented with. The first pages I wrote in pencil.
I felt comfortable doing this, because it is easy to erase mistakes when using pencil. I use pencil for a lot of things due to this reason. Guess it is a metaphor for my whole life.
Then I turned the page and I was faced with this.
Results? It was okay.
I have started "Finish This Book" by Keri Smith.
I thought I could avoid destruction a little, but the book says I cannot advance until I complete the task I am presented with. The first pages I wrote in pencil.
I felt comfortable doing this, because it is easy to erase mistakes when using pencil. I use pencil for a lot of things due to this reason. Guess it is a metaphor for my whole life.
Then I turned the page and I was faced with this.
Oh the horror! The book saw right through me!
I left it for a couple of days. Thinking about that page made me feel sick inside. Such crisp, white pages that are so new and clean. What if I ruin it? What if I make a mistake? What if in the end of this task I feel so disgusted, I will not be able to live with myself? What if? What if?
It is something that had to be done. So I took home the pen I use at work. The pen I use everyday on other people's forms without much thought. The pen I shall use to write in my book.
Results? It was okay.
I'm still alive and well. And now I have a page that is unique. Something that is truly mine.
This is the first step. And it was one heck of an important one too!
Thursday, November 15, 2012
Recklessly Finishing Something
I've always had problems finishing things. This includes books.
I have a bookshelf full of books I half read, only read a few pages of or never read. This week I bought 2 more books.
It might not make much sense buying more books when I know I can't get through one. However, I believe that these books might change everything! And I mean, more than just being able to finish a book.
Funny enough, the first of the two is called "Finish This Book" by Keri Smith. The title communicates exactly what the book is. My task is to finish the book. Not buy just reading it, but writing in it also. Which is a big deal for me because I am quite particular with books. I don't want to crease them, break the spine or write in it. I like my books crisp and clean. But I also want to change the fact that I like things to be kept perfect, which I think is one of the reasons why I never complete anything.
The second book is "Wreck This Journal" also by Keri Smith. The book experience is exactly what the title implies. The objective is to wreck the book. Drawing in it, ripping it, throwing it... Cracking the spine. This is going to be one heck of a journey.
You have no idea how difficulty this is going to be. Or maybe you do.
Reading the first few pages of these books already has me nervous. I swear these books were created with people like me in mind.
Who is a person like me?
1. Someone who has always refused to write in a book in pen. Including diaries.
2. Someone who reads a book in a way not to crack the spine, crease any pages and keeping them well away from anything stain inducing.
3. Someone who will rarely do anything without planning. Especially concerning paper.
4. Someone who will rarely finish a book.
All of the above is going to change. If the above sounds like you too, I will show you that it is possible to liberate yourself. I'm not saying it will be easy. If I am struggling, I will mention it. But in the end all will be changed.
Let the destruction begin!
I have a bookshelf full of books I half read, only read a few pages of or never read. This week I bought 2 more books.
It might not make much sense buying more books when I know I can't get through one. However, I believe that these books might change everything! And I mean, more than just being able to finish a book.
Funny enough, the first of the two is called "Finish This Book" by Keri Smith. The title communicates exactly what the book is. My task is to finish the book. Not buy just reading it, but writing in it also. Which is a big deal for me because I am quite particular with books. I don't want to crease them, break the spine or write in it. I like my books crisp and clean. But I also want to change the fact that I like things to be kept perfect, which I think is one of the reasons why I never complete anything.
The second book is "Wreck This Journal" also by Keri Smith. The book experience is exactly what the title implies. The objective is to wreck the book. Drawing in it, ripping it, throwing it... Cracking the spine. This is going to be one heck of a journey.
 |
| Books by Keri Smith. This image was taken with the DSLR camera I bought a couple of months ago. This is the first time I have used it after charging it for the first time yesterday. It was about time. A purchase too expensive to be collecting dust... |
You have no idea how difficulty this is going to be. Or maybe you do.
Reading the first few pages of these books already has me nervous. I swear these books were created with people like me in mind.
Who is a person like me?
1. Someone who has always refused to write in a book in pen. Including diaries.
2. Someone who reads a book in a way not to crack the spine, crease any pages and keeping them well away from anything stain inducing.
3. Someone who will rarely do anything without planning. Especially concerning paper.
4. Someone who will rarely finish a book.
All of the above is going to change. If the above sounds like you too, I will show you that it is possible to liberate yourself. I'm not saying it will be easy. If I am struggling, I will mention it. But in the end all will be changed.
Let the destruction begin!
Done it
Here it is. The blog. Now what?
The main purpose of this blog is its existence. It just has to exist for it to be. And it just is.
I've wanted to create a blog for years now and have always failed with the outcome. The process was usually the same:
1. Think of what it is going to be about (subject/niche).
2. Thinking about the perfect title.
3. Choosing the perfect layout.
4. Wondering how frequently I should post.
5. Forgetting to post or not being able to write about the subject.
6. Forget about the blog altogether.
7. Anti-win...
The first 4 points would take months to do. So this time, I just created one and named it what it is. It just is. And I am doing it. No further thought. No specific subject. Just whatever. It just needed to exist. Took me seconds.
I am not going to restrict it, which is what helped me fail previously. I will post whatever and whenever. I am no longer creating a blog for you. I am creating one for me. That may sound a tad bit selfish, but it really isn't. It just means that it will have more freedom. Which means the posts are more random, and potentially more interesting than my other failed blog "Slightly Unedited Photography" or SUP for short. No posts came out of that one!
It means that I am doing what I want to do. And it will work. It is for me, but it is public, so it can be for you too. It could inspire, motivate, show you something new, help you fall in love, create world peace, etc. Whatever. It is non-restricted.
So there. I've done it. Something I wanted to do for years, but didn't because I wanted it perfect. Screw perfect! It's restrictive.
If it just is, that means it is impossible to fail. It exists, and that is the win.
The main purpose of this blog is its existence. It just has to exist for it to be. And it just is.
I've wanted to create a blog for years now and have always failed with the outcome. The process was usually the same:
1. Think of what it is going to be about (subject/niche).
2. Thinking about the perfect title.
3. Choosing the perfect layout.
4. Wondering how frequently I should post.
5. Forgetting to post or not being able to write about the subject.
6. Forget about the blog altogether.
7. Anti-win...
The first 4 points would take months to do. So this time, I just created one and named it what it is. It just is. And I am doing it. No further thought. No specific subject. Just whatever. It just needed to exist. Took me seconds.
I am not going to restrict it, which is what helped me fail previously. I will post whatever and whenever. I am no longer creating a blog for you. I am creating one for me. That may sound a tad bit selfish, but it really isn't. It just means that it will have more freedom. Which means the posts are more random, and potentially more interesting than my other failed blog "Slightly Unedited Photography" or SUP for short. No posts came out of that one!
It means that I am doing what I want to do. And it will work. It is for me, but it is public, so it can be for you too. It could inspire, motivate, show you something new, help you fall in love, create world peace, etc. Whatever. It is non-restricted.
So there. I've done it. Something I wanted to do for years, but didn't because I wanted it perfect. Screw perfect! It's restrictive.
If it just is, that means it is impossible to fail. It exists, and that is the win.
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
I'm not going to spend the next hour thinking of the perfect title
Think of an idea. Start a project. Never complete it. Repeat.
Sounds like you? It definitely sounds like me.
I am a bit of a procrastinator. This realisation came to me when I went in for a remedial massage. My reason to go get one was because I had a bit of an accident and my body has been in pain ever since. The time between the accident and going to get a massage was around 10 months. Ten months to do something about pain. That is dedication to procrastinating right there.
First step to changing something is to acknowledge it. I am a procrastinator. Step 1 done and completed. Getting better already. I didn't decide to change this right after realising that I procrastinate a lot. One day I was cleaning out my drawers, something I had been wanting to do for years. I stumbled upon a blanket I started crocheting in 2006. I had completely forgotten about it, and thought it was a shame that it was never completed. I am now completing it. The first of many incomplete projects.
Mind you, not all projects went unfinished.
In 2010 I completed a cross stitched bookmark. I started making it in 1996. Same story as before. Started it. Got distracted with another project. Forgot about it. Found it years later. Decided it was about time I finished it.
This is evidence that I am able to complete a project.
This blog is also a part of my journey. More about it in the next post. Whenever I'll write it...
Sounds like you? It definitely sounds like me.
I am a bit of a procrastinator. This realisation came to me when I went in for a remedial massage. My reason to go get one was because I had a bit of an accident and my body has been in pain ever since. The time between the accident and going to get a massage was around 10 months. Ten months to do something about pain. That is dedication to procrastinating right there.
First step to changing something is to acknowledge it. I am a procrastinator. Step 1 done and completed. Getting better already. I didn't decide to change this right after realising that I procrastinate a lot. One day I was cleaning out my drawers, something I had been wanting to do for years. I stumbled upon a blanket I started crocheting in 2006. I had completely forgotten about it, and thought it was a shame that it was never completed. I am now completing it. The first of many incomplete projects.
Mind you, not all projects went unfinished.
In 2010 I completed a cross stitched bookmark. I started making it in 1996. Same story as before. Started it. Got distracted with another project. Forgot about it. Found it years later. Decided it was about time I finished it.
 |
| The cross stitched bookmark. Evidence that it is completed. I wanted to take this photo with a camera I bought 2 months ago. I hadn't yet charged the battery, so was unable to. I've never used it. So I took it with my phone instead. |
This is evidence that I am able to complete a project.
This blog is also a part of my journey. More about it in the next post. Whenever I'll write it...
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